


Listen to My Heart

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-02
Updated: 2006-04-02
Packaged: 2019-02-02 17:36:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12731190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Daniel looks back on his life with Jack.





	Listen to My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

Listen to my heart,   
Look into my eyes,  
I have seen the stars falling from the sky.  
Listen my fears, yours will lift and fly,  
Let me show you where I have touched the air.  
Stories from the past, each as true as mine,  
We can speak at last through the sands of time.  
We are not forgotten anymore.

"Walls" by Judy Collins

It was strange, Jack O'Neill considered as he turned his head from side to side staring at his own face in the mirror that Daniel was holding, he didn't really look anything like the old guy that he thought he'd be. He shared these thoughts with Daniel out loud in his slightly husky voice, "I don't look like the guy I thought I'd look like, you know. Remember Argos - I was old then. But even though I'm sick, I don't look so bad. I mean considering that I'm eighty-seven and just had a heart attack last week."

"Hey," Daniel steadied the bowl of warm water on the bedside tray, "Be careful and don't move around. You don't want to slice your throat open in the next couple of minutes, do you? I don't know why you insist on using that stupid safety razor anyway. One of those electric shavers would do just as good a job - easier on you. And faster and simpler for me."

"I've always done it this way." Jack was insistent about his rituals, firm about what he liked and didn't like. It was also his primary argument for never trying something different. "I like the way I feel after shaving, the way I smell fresh. Anyway, what would you know, you don't look any different than the day I met you. You don't need to be as fastidious as I do."

"You must be blind Jack!" Daniel snorted. "I haven't got any hair except for a little fringe and it's white! And only fashion models are more fastidious than you are about your personal hygiene." Daniel touched his husband's arm as if to verify the solidity of his real presence here with him. 

Jack's sudden heart attack had given him the scare of his life, as he watched him collapse in their vestibule like a pack of cards after returning from a late night dinner at a friend's house in lower Westmount. It didn't matter that Jack had always said he wanted to die fast, without any warning. The idea of Jack not being there terrified Daniel. Jack was his rock, his safe harbor in a storm, the foundation his feet stood on when everything else around him threatened the threads of his sanity. He couldn't lose him now, not so suddenly. 

Jack glanced up at Daniel, a last dab of shaving cream clinging to his left cheek. His face settled in wrinkles of contentment at the sight of his husband. Daniel was still so beautiful, he thought. "I don't know. You look the same as you always did to me. A little thinner and softer maybe, but pretty much the same."

"Silly old fool," Daniel muttered, "You only insisted on shaving because Mel's coming up from San Diego with Sam Carter Shanahan and Pete. Cassie and Jennifer are coming from Hawaii. But Cass and Jenn left young Jack with a friend back home; he apparently has some school event that he can't miss." Daniel sighed, "It's times like these that I really miss Teal'c and Janet." Mel, their daughter, lived close to Sam Carter Shanahan and her husband Pete on the west coast, and was traveling with them. Even though Teal'c had been dead for over twenty years, it seemed just like yesterday. Janet had only been dead for ten years, but she'd never stopped missing Teal'c who was, as she would cheerfully tell anybody, "the perfect partner." 

"I'll be seeing him soon enough," Jack said dismissively, "Teal'c, Charlie, Skaara, Janet, Bra'tac, Kawalsky, even Maybourne - they'll all be there. It's just you that I'll miss so much." He stopped momentarily as his voice thickened with emotion, "I don't mind dying so much Danny, it's just that it won't be home. We've had what, forty years nearly. I still say you should get together with that guy Martin from our Unitarian Church, the one who's so impressed with the famous Dr. Jackson. I just don't like to think of you being alone."

Daniel made a disgusted noise at his husband, "Martin doesn't know me Jack. And you're not dead yet if I have anything to do with it. If Martin saw the legions of pills that the famous Dr. Jackson takes every day that would certainly make him sit up and take notice. You're the only person who really understands about me, about the voices in my head when things are out of control or if I have to change my meds. You're the only one who really understands what it's been like for me. We've been through so much together."

Jack stroked the soft skin on the inside of the familiar arm beside him gently. "I don't want you to be alone, Danny," he stated simply, "Martin likes you and he seems like a nice guy." He smiled, "He used to be a chef at some big hotel. He'd treat you right."

A flood of unwanted emotion coursed through Daniel's chest, making it temporarily hard to breathe. As soon as he was capable of taking a breath, he scolded Jack in a gentle undertone. "I don't care about Martin. He can sponsor a cookout for the whole church, and I wouldn't care. There's nobody but you for me Jack," he enunciated tightly.

Jack glanced up at him through dark hooded eyes, momentarily silent. Then he wagged his bushy eyebrows meaningfully at Daniel. "Well, there was Shau'ri once upon a time," he tried conversationally.

Daniel made another loud noise, and waved his arms in a dismissive gesture, "For crying out loud, forget it, you crazy old flirt. As they say, there's no fool like an old fool Jack," Daniel's words didn't even begin to touch the truth behind the old saw. "I didn't have that kind of relationship with Shau'ri, and you know it and I know it. Even she knew it. So, no more Martin okay?" 

He leaned forward and kissed wide expanse of Jack's forehead. Then he touched his own forehead to Jack's. He'd felt over emotional and frightened over the past few days, and he didn't want to feel that again right now. He simply wanted be near Jack and touch him, smell the distinctive smell of his after-shave, the smoothness of the familiar forehead, the smell of Jack's breath and the presence of the warmth that had always been Jack. He was seventy-seven, and he knew at this point in his life that his husband was irreplaceable. 

"Well," Jack said with his usual air of bravado, "I won't last forever. And my damned ticker is proving that." He was fatigued as Daniel could plainly see. Dark lashes slid down over the elusive eyes of his lover, his husband, his best friend and his soul mate, the need for rest conquering his desire to stay awake. A faint snore rumbled in Jack's chest, then he suddenly awakened and regarded Daniel who was sitting beside him. He spoke no words because he didn't need them, the understanding between them bridging the gap of silence. He squeezed Daniel's hand with his long, still elegant fingers.

"Ssh, sleep," Daniel brushed his hand over the recalcitrant watchful eyes, and cupped one hand under the familiar chiseled chin. Jack's face still had such nice lines. Lowering one side railing, he climbed up onto the hospital bed. They were well shielded by the curtains. Pulling his thin body over beside Jack's, he captured the other man in his arms and he cushioned his head on the familiar shoulder. The smell of Jack was all around, a reminder that he was still on Earth with him. He felt Jack relax and he drifted. 

Daniel thought about the different kinds of fools that he'd been during his lifetime. He considered when it had all begun between him and Jack, and he realized that he didn't really want to go on alone without him. His arms tightened around his husband, thinking about the adventure that their life together had always been.


End file.
